Email 2

Subject: English courses for visiting students - interviews videotaping

Dear Peter,

Following our discussion over lunch just now, I’ve revised the dates of the interviews:

  • Group 1 – Nov 26, 2009
  • Group 2 – Nov 30, 2009
  • Group 3 – Dec 2, 2009

I'll arrange for a camcorder and 2 cassette tapes for each teacher to pick up from the Technical Office before the interview at 11am on the above three dates.

Each interview will take about 20 minutes (5 mins for each student to ask the teacher questions). The teacher will be asked some questions re. one aspect of life in HK.

Please let me know if these arrangements are fine with you. Thanks a lot!

Regards,
Laura

Again, the subject should be specific. In this case, a dash is used to emphasize a more specific theme (interviews videotaping) of the main topic (English courses)
Only address the person by their first name if the nature of the email is not too formal, or if you are familiar with each other personally.
The sender lets the recipient know what area she wants to address by referring to a specific previous discussion.
Point form is used to increase brevity and clarity. This makes it very easy for the reader to discern separate pieces of information.
The sender uses an active voice to emphasize what the sender will do in the future. Using an active voice improves the clarity and power of the message.
The information about the interviews are detailed enough to be clear and brief. One abbreviation is used. Be sure that the abbreviation is not obscure that no one knows what it means.
The sender prompts the recipient to consider her idea and to reply with feedback, and thanks him in advance.