Commentary on the ‘compare & contrast’ essay Introduction
This introduction is extremely condensed, and is hard to re-formulate into coherence without adding substantially to it. It is clearly an introductory response to a title (or heading), taking account of what can be understood by the reader (what is ‘given’) and what is introduced as new information.

Detailed comments:
•	In the original paragraph, the writer discusses an aspect of stratification in sentence 1 (S1), yet only defines stratification in S2. These propositions, therefore, need reversing.
•	S3 needs to maintain the connection with Marx & Weber, especially as the introduction rightly (cf. title) ends with a focus on the differences between Marx & Weber.
•	Since S3 offers 4 systems, and S4 focuses on the 1 in the title, the writer needs to signal the narrowing of focus.

Suggested reformulation:
	‘Stratification is defined as structured inequalities between different groupings of people. The most influential theoretical approaches on stratification are those developed by Karl Marx and Max Weber. Of the four basic systems of stratification Marx identified: slavery, caste, estates and class, it is in their analysis of class that Marx and Weber's theories differ most strongly’.